Cohesive devices: gelada monkey
Poppy, aged 11, loves gelada monkeys. It is her favourite animal, and, as you can see by her letter opposite, she is deeply concerned by the many human threats geladas face in the wild. She has written a letter to the Ethiopian government, expressing her concern for the future of this unique primate species. Could her letter be improved by using some of the cohesive devices outlined on the previous page?
What words could she use to avoid repetition? Think about possible synonyms and pronouns. Some of the words on the Word Wall may be of use.
Which conjunctive adverbials could Poppy use to improve her text cohesion? Remember, these are words that link information between sentences and paragraphs. Some of the words on the Word Wall may be of use.
Poppy needs to round off her letter with a great concluding paragraph that summarises her thoughts and feelings and ends with a call to action (what does she want the Ethiopian Government to do?). See if you can write a great concluding paragraph for Poppy.
I am writing to you because I am deeply concerned about the future of gelada monkeys in the highlands of Ethiopia. Gelada monkeys are the last surviving species of ancient grazing monkeys that were once numerous. Without protection, I fear that they too will be doomed. I urge your government to act now before it is too late.
Ethiopia’s rapid population growth means that, as time goes on, more and more land will need to be farmed. Goats and cows will compete with gelada monkeys for patches of grass. Gelada monkeys will be pushed into areas of lower quality grassland. This may affect their health and cause numbers to decline.
I am also worried that farmers may start shooting gelada monkeys if they start feeding on farmers’ farmland and eating the grass that their goats and cows need. I have heard that there are already cases of this happening in some parts of Ethiopia.
I would love to hear back from you.
Poppy Walbrook, aged 11