Cohesive devices: narwhal
Whiteboard Challenges
Iskra, aged 11, is passionate about Narwhals. As you can see by her letter opposite, which is addressed to the president of the IMO (International Maritime Oganisation), she is deeply concerned by the many threats to the narwhal’s existence and, in particular, those caused by the shipping industry. What improvements could Iskra make to improve the letter’s text cohesion?
Challenge 1
What words could Iskra use to avoid repetition? Think about possible synonyms, alternative nouns and pronouns. Some of the words on the Word Wall may be of use.
Challenge 2
Which conjunctive adverbials could Iskra use to improve her text cohesion? Remember, these are words that link information between sentences and paragraphs. Some of the words on the Word Wall may be of use.
Challenge 3
Iskra needs to round off her letter with a great concluding paragraph that summarises her thoughts and feelings and ends with a call to action (what exactly does she want the president of the IMO to do?). See if you can write a great concluding paragraph for Iskra.
Whiteboard Challenges
Dear Sir,
Over the past few years, sea ice in the Arctic has been melting at a rapid rate due to global warming. This has led to an increase in large container ships finding their way through the Arctic Circle, threatening the existence of narwhals and other marine wildlife.
The increased number of container ships creates a number of problems for narwhals. The noisy engines of large container ships and oil tankers affect the narwhals’ ability to communicate with each other. Not being able to communicate with each other greatly reduces their chance of survival.
Narwhals are very slow-moving creatures that follow the same routes from feeding to breeding grounds every year. Because these routes are starting to be used by large container ships, there is the risk of the large container ships colliding with the narwhals. Collisions can lead to serious injury or even death.
I would love to hear back from you.
Yours faithfully,
Iskra (aged 11)